Swinger Daddy- Swinger's Etiquette

Swinging etiquette

As in any social activity, there are expected rules of conduct in swinging. Following the rules is an effective way to make yourself welcome within the swinging community.

Arrive as a couple and leave as a couple when attending a swinger's dance or party. It is frowned upon by most hosts and other swingers when a partner, usually the women, departs leaving her mate at the party as a single.

Attractive but casual party clothes are usually best. If you're attending an on-premise party, take a robe, negligee, or other slip-on attire. You may find it more comfortable as the evening continues. Keep money, jewelry and other valuables to a minimum. If they're lost, it's a problem for you and an embarrassment to your hosts. If the party has a theme come dressed appropriately. Wearing street clothes at a themed swingers party ruins the mood for others.

Cleanliness and good grooming is essential for swinging participants. Be aware of your body and take care of it. Be especially aware of any body odor you may develop due to the physical nature of these activities. Even a kiss can be a turnoff if delivered with a breath heavy with the taste of cigarettes or liquor. Breath mints or gum are very helpful.

A good mental attitude and emotional health will make you popular in the swinging community. No one appreciates the negative person with nothing good to say about the party, other persons or swinging. The man or woman with the smile, ready laugh and obvious interest in others is the person others like to be around.

Everyone has the right of refusal, so you don't have to swing with a person unless you want to, and they don't have to swing with you. Be honest with your feelings and desires, and expect others to do the same. Only ask those you want to say "yes." If they say "No," take it graciously and don't try to coax, pressure or persuade them to change their mind. When you say "Yes" to others, be honest and enthusiastic. When you say "No," be tactful and courteous. But don't say "Maybe later" when you really mean "NO."

Don't take a "Ticket" to a swing party. A "ticket" is someone who has no intention of swinging, but is willing to go along to get someone else in. No one must swing at a party, of course, but if one person swings, it is expected that the other is willing and free to do the same.

Don't take someone to a swing party who is not fully informed as to the nature of the party and their expected behavior.

Don't disturb the swinging enjoyment of others in a bedroom or other swing area with loud or prolonged talk.

The group room is for group swinging so if you want privacy, don't go to the group room. If you take your partner, or any other person to the group room to swing, you can expect others to ask to join you and your partner. (The right of refusal always applies, of course. Swinging in the group room doesn't automatically give others the right to join you nor you the right to join others.)

Club swing parties have dues or donations. It is your responsibility to present it upon being checked in for a party. Don't make the hosts remind you.

Don't be a bedroom "cruiser." Looking into bedrooms, pulling back curtains, turning on lights and going into private swing areas as a stag to see if you can get involved in something are major breaches of swinging etiquette. If you become known for such behavior, you may find that swing party invitations become few and far between.

Illegal substances, including marijuana, are prohibited at responsible swing clubs and private parties. Swinging is it's own pleasure, don't dilute it and don't subject yourself and other to legal problems. Going in and out of the party or dance to your car will be suspect. Don't do it!

If a party is BYOB (bring your own bottle), only drink what you bring. Never help yourself to what others have brought without their permission. This is another of the much violated rules of swinging etiquette, and one that causes anger among the party guests.

Tell the hosts if another guest causes a problem, won't take no for an answer, or is objectionable in any real way. They sincerely want to know so that they can correct the situation before it becomes a problem. Keeping problems and bad feelings to yourself only contributes tension to the situation.

If you like a club or party, say so. If it just isn't your thing, leave. To speak disparagingly of a party to the other guests is simply poor manners.

A note for the single guys: always remember that the road to the lady always goes through her mate. Make a point to chat with both the involved parties. NEVER wait until he excuses himself from the room to ask to play.

The Rocky Mountain Social Club has an excellent article on Swinger's Etiquette as it pertains to house parties. It is as follows:

House Party Etiquette

A house party is a private party put on by individuals. They are held in private homes and can be attended by invitation only or open but limited to the number of people the house can accommodate. If you find you can not go after making a reservation, call back and cancel. The host can call someone waiting for an opening. It makes things easier to plan for food; space and the host will know who hasn't arrived.

Arrive and leave the party as a couple unless other arrangements have been made beforehand with the host. It is frowned upon by most hosts and other swingers at a party when a partner departs leaving his or her mate or date at the party as a single.

Follow parking instructions. Your host knows the best ways to be on good terms with their neighbors. Breach of parking arrangements is a good way to set the neighbors against the party.

For most house parties you will want to bring a robe, negligee or other slip on. You may find it more comfortable as the evening continues. Keep money, jewelry and other valuables at a minimum.

Do not be a bedroom "cruiser." Quietly opening a door to see if there is an available bed for you and your partner to use is all right. However, looking into bedrooms, pulling back curtains, turning lights on and going to private swing areas as a stag to see if you can get involved are major breaches of swinging etiquette. Don't disturb the swinging enjoyment of others. If you are watching, be quiet. No prolonged or loud talking. Never enter another activity unless invited. If you want privacy, go to a private room. Most house parties and on-premise clubs have rooms set up. If you go to a group room you can expect others to ask to join (the right of refusal always applies. Swinging in the group does not automatically give others permission to join you.) Never join in on an activity unless invited.

Do not eat, drink or smoke in any bedroom or other party areas. Beside the obvious fire hazard and the potential mess, these areas are reserved for other activities. This is one of the most violated rules of swinging etiquette and one of those most likely to make you an unwelcome quest.

If the party is BYOB (bring your own bottle), only drink what you bring. Never help yourself to something someone else brought. This is another of the much violated rules of swing etiquette, and cause a lot of anger among the party guests. Never bring Illegal substances to someone's home. Don't subject yourself and the host to this legal problem.

If it is a theme party, plan on dressing that way. If you do not like the theme do not go. You will change the atmosphere and drag others down. Many theme parties call for costumes, special party wear or a special activity. Swinging is fun, so go with it.